10 (Simple) Ways To Get What You Want

10 (Simple) Ways To Get What You Want

Authors like Wayne Dyer, Joe Dispenza, and Abraham HIcks speak about “manifesting“. Preachers like Joel Olsteen, Joyce Myer, and T.D. Jakes do the same in the name of religion. The former recommend adopting the “feeling” of having already achieved a thing, while the latter attempt to convince the masses that God wants them to possess all that they want. They have all intrigued me for years, but they have all also muddled my admittedly small mind. I recommend everyone decide for themselves if their ideas are helpful.

Are there simple steps to getting what we want? What should we do when faced with over enthusiasm or extreme pessimism?

The two extreme schools of thinking with regard to manifesting are what I label as the “fixers” and the “downers”. Neither are very helpful.

The “fixers” hear that a person has trouble achieving a goal or is unhappy with their life and say, “change the way you think… you have not because you believe not”. Those in the school of manifestation blame it on our sending the wrong signals to the universe and those within religious traditions blame it on our lack of truly believing God. The downers motto is, “poop in one hand and want in another… see which one fills up faster”. They discount any effect our thinking may have on getting what we want out of life.

The following list is an attempt to provide practical ways to get what you want. It is a middle ground between the fixers and the downers. There is not intentional mystique or sales pitch. It is just a list of what has helped the author (that’s me) over the course of some years.

One of the first things my son (who came to us at age five) said to me was, “you get what you get and you don’t pitch a fit”. Later a friend of mine told him never to believe those words because you will always be tempted to settle for less than is possible. I have spent the last seven years trying to show him the possibility in life.

10. Understand Your Want

Some of us want a nice car to drive around town. For some, a nice home might be on the want list. If we truly enjoy all of the extra features that come with the nice car, or we want the convenience of a nicer home, then these are our wants. If we want these things to impress others with our nice things, then impressing others with our nice things is our want. Either of the two wants are valid. Our help comes in knowing what our true want is, so we might receive what we really want. Again, no shaming here, we want what we want. Understand your want.

9. Change What You Want

If after some reflection we find we might like to have something else, we are free to change what we want. Not to give up on a thing, but to simply change what we want. Aging does this for some, life events and some traumas also do this for others. What is important is that we understand this is natural and does not speak to the validity of what we previously wanted or what we might want now. We are allowed, we have permission, to change what we want. Sometimes it helps to change what you want.

8. Believe It Is Possible

With gratitude to the authors mentioned above, we borrow some of their ideas on belief. Belief in possibility is not essential to getting what we want. It is, however, easier to work towards a goal or an event when we believe it is possible, rather than those things we believe will never be possible. I recommend expanding our belief rather than limiting our wants to what we feel is safe, convenient, or easy. Dream big dreams and find some truth in what is dreamed. Believe it is possible.

7. Adjust Your Attitude

I remember my 9th grade English teacher looking at her class with a smirk and saying, “you need an attitude adjustment”. Also I remember she helped us adjust our attitudes with specific exercises and that it was not just a complaint about our behavior. How we approach what we want does matter. Though it may not be ordained for us by the creator or only dependent on what we believe, our attitude helps us get, and the universe grant, our wishes. Refrain from doing things, even the mundane and required things, because you “have to”, but do them because you “get to”. Adjust your attitude.

6. Deserve It

What gives you the right? Why do you deserve success, more of this or that, or greater than what you have been given? Most of us cower at these questions with little response. You may not deserve what you want any more than any other person on earth, but you do deserve what you want. Some deserve different things because they want different things. The hardest part of wanting, for me personally and many others, is understanding that we deserve what we want. Better said, there is nothing about us that would keep us from anything the creator has already bestowed to all of creation. You deserve it.

5. Give It To Others

If you want love and give only hate or if you want peace and cause only turmoil, you have little chance of receiving love and peace. There are those that want to be praised and only criticize and those that want money and share little of what they already have. It is not that we have anything to give that we have not taken already and it is not that we attract good things by doing good things. If we want to experience a thing we have to learn how to receive a thing and the best way to learn how to receive what we want is to give it, in some small way, to others. Give it to others.

4. Speak Well

Anyone growing up in the south that slipped and spoke a taboo word to their mother has heard this. Watch you language! This is good advice. Curse words are not the issue. Words spoken that criticize, negate, discourage, or tear others or their enjoyment of life are the problem. If these words are the problem, then words that are their opposites are the solution. Speak well to others and even to yourself. If you cannot manage to change your self talk into something positive, choose not to believe yourself for a while. Speak well.

3. Make Decisions

We should do everything with intent and after having made a decision to do all that we do. So much of life is attributed to “otherness”. The motto of “otherness” thinking is “because”. When we get used to accepting more responsibility, we see we are able to create more for ourselves. When we make more decisions in our lives, about the big items and the small items, we are less likely to place blame. Blame is a useless invention. Decide to do a thing or not to do a thing, but never feel obligated or pressured. Make decisions.

2. Create Coincidence

This is different than working for what we want. It is also different than only believing in, or only wishing for, what we want. My father never took me fishing in a mud puddle. He knew there were no fish there. A lot of us are fishing in mud puddles. We are able to create circumstance and coincidence for others and ourselves one small step at a time. We should be open to what the universe has to offer, but we must also create situations and mindsets which help us receive what we want. This usually happens when we decide not to complain. Create coincidence.

1. Be Grateful

Everything has been given to us. Even if we believe we are responsible for every good thing in our lives, we were given the ability to make them happen. Shawn Anchor once recommended being thankful for people more than things. We are not shallow if we are thankful for things, but it is more difficult to take credit for people If anything, or anyone, comes to mind when thankfulness is mentioned, spend 30 seconds more with that thought. Never satisfied with only what we have, but always thankful for what we have. Be Grateful.

This is not a comprehensive list. Certainly, it is not the battle cry of, “go out and get it”, or “take what you want”. It is a simpler way to ease into receiving what we want. Also, it is not said the way your disapproving ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend spoke the words, “I hope you are happy”.

These words are offered as practical ways to help in getting whatever you might want. If there is any magic in these words at all, use them for good and comment on what helps most. If they are of little use for your situation, comment as to why. The author (that’s me) is learning. Trying to help along the way, but learning.

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6 thoughts on “10 (Simple) Ways To Get What You Want”

  • I have read Wayne Dyer but not the other authors you mention. My gurus back in the 80s and 90s were guys like Sam Keen, Alan Watts and Robert Bly. And, for a time, Marianne Williamson. My gurus these days are Richard Dawkins, Sam Harris and the late Christopher Hitchens (all atheists, by the way).
    I’m pretty old now (76) and have little need for new authors and the ideas of getting qwhat I want. At this point in life I either already got it, or I never will and must adjust.

    I loved this piece.

    You’re a great communicator, Kevin. Your grammar and syntax need a bit of work. But your thoughts and perspectives are very clear.


    I remember when you were just a chubby little kid, And your folks brought you over to visit us. My daughter, Jenni was just about your age, and the two of you sat in the middle of my family room floor and stared at each other. then you fell over and couldn’t get up, so someone had to prop you back up.

    • I do not even know what syntax is… lol. I have recently discovered Alan Watts on YouTube. I will check the others out. As for the chubby kid part… I still need to be propped up from time to time.

  • For example. you wrote: Either of the two wants are valid. It should be “Either of the two wants is valid,” or “Both of the two wants are valid.” Either is singular, both is plural.

    And … periods and commas always go inside quotation marks, never outside. Syntax means – the arrangement of words and phrases to create well-formed sentences.

    You’ll have to excuse me. I’ve been a proessional writer/editor all my life, and it just comes naturally to me to notice these things. So I only correct you because I admire what you’re doing and hope you continue. You have a lot to say.

Will you share what you think?