There are times in my life, as I am sure there are times in many lives, that I feel separated from others and what is going on in this world. If I were truthful, I would have to admit that most of my days have been spent wondering where I belong and without much zeal or conviction about one subject or another. While I have beliefs that are similar to beliefs of particular groups of people, I also have the experience and knowledge that most of those beliefs have evolved, if not changed, over time.
Maybe it is that I am too critical. It may be that I am so uncomfortable with my own thoughts, that if others have them also, I question their validity. And perhaps, it is my opinion that all things, thoughts, beliefs, friends, authorities, beauty, and even love, fade like a setting sun into a dark night sky, void of anything that was visible before dusk. And at some point, it is the guilt I feel over having life easier and with more abundance than others that I know exist in the world. With that said, I am certain I do not fit in with many circles or groups.
Bleak? Could be. Burdensome? Could be. Overwhelming and hopeless? Not at all. While I do not know what purpose I might have in life or even what point there is to it all, there is a steady rhythm beating in the day to day. It sounds with every beat of my heart. It lives with every breath I take. The world is different, be it for the better or for the worse, because I am in it. That is the group I fit into. The group that all of humanity finds itself. We all, by virtue of our waking, make a difference. There is no neutral in the way we live or think. So, when possible, these are the things I try to accomplish each day.
Make someone smile. Speak to one stranger a day. Tell my family “I love you”. Say one nice thing to someone about someone else. Pray. Read, even if it is only a quote. Think. Be purposefully grateful. And realize that most, if not all, of what I do is a choice.
And here is the good news. If you find that you cannot do these things in real time, do them in your mind in your free time. Doing a kind deed in thought will reap the same benefit as doing a kind deed in the world. I may not fit in. I may not be well known. I may not become influential or have great power. But I will, without reservation, love with the same passion, grace, and fervor, as the Creator has shown to me. Hopefully, even when they put ketchup on my hamburger when I specifically told them to hold it. Happy Wednesday.